Friday, October 4, 2013

Foreplay and the Nursing Mother

WARNINGExplicit sexual content discussed below. Please do not read if you are concerned about the state of your soul, especially if you are not yet married.














Well, now that I'm back from the dead, lets discuss, shall we? This topic is less of a thou-shalt-not and more of a how-to. When I was pregnant with my first, my biggest sex-related question was more or less, to whom do my breasts belong once my child is born? I put this question to several friends who already had several children and they were all emphatic: NO breast play during the nursing time frame, PERIOD. Well, I didn't enjoy that response and Mr. Chastity was rather concerned as well. Here's what we've learned in practice: 

Breast play is entirely subjective, based on the comfort levels of the father and nursing mother. The main concerns are often breast tenderness or soreness (especially in the early days), leaking, and of course, what I call the ick-factor. The first two are practical problems and the last is a psychological one. The practical problems are easier to circumvent...as the nursing relationship continues, tenderness should subside so that touching the breasts is easier and more pleasurable. Some women may not leak at all, some only a bit at first, and others may be chronic leakers. This is easily solved with a towel, or perhaps enjoying intimacy while still wearing a lighter bra with nursing pads (some of them are rather sexy). Breastmilk does not taste bad and it's certainly non-toxic, so no one needs to be concerned if the husband takes a hit in the eye or (Heaven help us) mouth. 

In case you're wondering, this is the international 'breastfeeding friendly' icon. Also of note, to those readers in the USA, breastfeeding is legal in public is legal in all 50 states without restriction - by federal law. Anyplace your baby is legally allowed to be, they are allowed to eat there.

For some women, or men, they will simply not be able to be comfortable with the breasts as a simultaneous object of sexual attraction and food-source. They cannot combine the two. It has to be either/or. For these people, breast play will be excluded from their lovemaking while they are nursing. Unfortunately, this can often adversely affect either the nursing relationship or the sexual relationship - but it doesn't have to! For husbands struggling with their wife's discomfort, focus right now on how sexy it is to see her care for your children so completely with her very body. Reassure her that you love her, find her attractive, and enjoy your intimate life, no matter what. For wives struggling with their husband's disinterest, be open and communicate your comfort level, but don't push if he isn't interested. Your spouse may come around, or they may not, but you can still be close and intimate during this time. And nursing doesn't last forever! 

If you have more questions, feel free to leave them in the combox. Happy postpartum lovemaking!

4 comments:

  1. We didn't shy away from lactating when in the bedroom together, or rather, I didn't put limits on husband. I may have had some shyness, and though he might have asked permission for some things, he was trusting of me enough to ask without fear of judgment. To his delight, I allowed him to explore as far as being deliberate in his "latching-on".

    ReplyDelete
  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Scripture commends a husband delighting in his wife's breasts. As long as baby gets his fill, husband is free to enjoy his wife, not excluding her breasts. He should be gentle, especially if her breasts are tender. Or if she has inhibitions he should go easy.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Scripture commends a husband delighting in his wife's breasts. As long as baby gets his fill, husband is free to enjoy his wife, not excluding her breasts. He should be gentle, especially if her breasts are tender. Or if she has inhibitions he should go easy.

    ReplyDelete

Keep it clean, modest if possible, and certainly charitable.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...